Top Theme Park Annoyances

Theme Park Crowd

 Behind the Thrills: It’s National Pet Peeve Week. It’s the one week a year where you get to point out and bring to light the things that really piss you off. Really it sounds like a lot of negativity, just randomly going around popping off about things that you see every day. Isn’t there enough anger and hostility in the world already? Still, it’s a fun subject to talk about.

So let’s turn this negative week into a positive by pointing out some of the things that are really annoying that we see at theme parks. Perhaps people who are guilty of these annoyances are unaware they are so annoying. Perhaps they’ll see this list and see the light, and stop doing these things. Yes, it is called Fantasyland for a reason.

So what ticks you off the most while attending “The Happiest Place on Earth”? Do the crowds at “Coaster Capital” make you want to throw them on the track? Let’s take a look at some theme park pet peeves.

Blind Fandom: Okay, so not exactly an annoyance IN the park, but it’s worse because it spills out all over the rest of society. I’m talking of course about the rabid fanboys. Sure you like a park, it’s a great place…perhaps the “Happiest Place on Earth”. In your eyes there is none better. So you start a blog…or a podcast…or a forum. And you continually talk about the greatness of the park. You also crap all over it for not “living up to standards”. You also beat down anyone else who dares to talk bad about that park. You act like just because someone doesn’t like your park, they shouldn’t say or do anything in near or around it. I hear it all the time. I point out a flaw about a park (me? A critic? Say it ain’t so!) and get bashed about it. It’s an opinion, and like a-holes, everyone has one. Does it mean I shouldn’t write about a park or event? No. It’s a good thing to have critics, it shows the parks and event makers that there are flaws and when the parks become aware of said flaws, they tend to get fixed. Sometimes. Of course, marketing departments hate it….but constructive criticism never killed a park. It also tends to make fanboys wake up and realize there are other parks out there, and it’s not so bad to like new things.

Brazilian Tour Groups: Okay, so I have nothing against Brazil, or people from Brazil. It just seems that Brazilian Tour groups are everywhere. With them comes rude behavior, line cutting, and rhythmic chanting and clapping. The reason for this is because the majority of people that make up the tour groups are teens on their own during a long trip for the first time. You know what it’s like, don’t you? You went nuts! Plus, Brazil makes up a huge portion of tourist dollars coming into our theme parks. Without them the parks would not have money to put on great shows, create new rides and expand into new areas. Unfortunately we do have to deal with the tour groups.

Line Cutters: It’s been a bane of theme park existence. It’s always happened and it will always happen. But people who cut in line are complete and total douche bags. It’s always the same story. “My family is right there” or “I had to use the bathroom”. Here’s an idea….make your friends and family wait for you! The line isn’t going to go from 10 minutes to 90 in the time it takes you to pee. So suggest that they wait with you…but chances are, the people you’re with don’t really like you which is why they ran off in the first place. Just because someone’s friend is ahead of you doesn’t mean that you have to let them join them. Make them wait. If they argue, cause a scene….or better yet…tell a team member they’re cutting in line. It usually will be dealt with.

Drunks: I love to drink at theme parks. Maybe I’m guilty of doing this myself…if I am, I’m sorry. But drinking at a theme park is fun, and at the same time inconsiderate. When people drink, they tend to get really loud, really annoying, and sometimes really angry. This spills into the lines and can be a bad situation. If you’re one of those drinkers that can’t say when, then don’t do it at a theme park. Wait until later. If you don’t want to wait until later, wait until you get done waiting in line.

Smokers: Another bad group. In a way I feel bad for smokers. They used to be able to smoke anywhere they wanted. Now they are designated to special sections. So instead of walking all the way to a special section, they light up in line. Come on…really? My mom has emphysema, and she’s never smoked a day in her life. Second hand smoke really does a lot of harm. Be considerate.

Photobombers: You get the whole family together. You get everyone in one spot long enough to take a picture in front of the fake plaster tree. And what happens…someone walks right in front of you not paying attention. Yeah, try to be considerate and pay attention to where you’re walking. It makes everyone act a lot nicer.

Pathblockers: On the other end of the one above is the pathblockers. Those that are trying to take a picture at every single landmark, sign and shrub. On top of that they are standing way too far away to get a good picture, and don’t know how to use their cameras. Practice before you go on vacation folks.

Bully parents: How many times have you seen a parent dragging their kid on a ride though the kid has tears streaming down their face? Rides are terrifying for some kids. Parents don’t see that, they tend to just go right for it and make the kids who are petrified to ride get on anyway. It’s a good way to make sure your kid not only hates coasters, but you as well. Child swap is a great tool, if you don’t have anyone to watch the little one, then you can just wait.

Idiots: This is a big, wide, broad brush to paint with folks. But these are the people that do really stupid things. Like the kids who walk through a haunted house and yell “I SEE YOU!” or get mad at an actor for jumping out and scaring them. Or even better…risking their lives for a hat, pair of glasses or anything that can be replaced. Everyone knows the story of the guy that literally lost his head after he jumped the fence of Batman at Six Flags over Georgia. And how about the video of that dumbass kid in Jurassic Park? Be smart people, don’t leave your brains at home with the dog when you go on vacation.

Stroller moms: These are the ladies that go plowing through crowds with their strollers. In one incident (swear this is true) the lady goes screaming into a crowd with her stroller after watching the parade “MOVE I HAVE A KID YOU ASSHOLES!” So…you have a vagina, you spit out a kid…and that makes you more special than the other 10,000 people who have to wait in line? Yes, it’s harsh…but so is running into the legs of a five year old who just happens to be holding daddy’s hand trying to get out of the same mess you’re in, and then yelling “WATCH IT BRAT!” (again, true story). It’s not only stroller moms, it’s shoulder dads at a parade or fireworks display, and just inconsiderate people in general. Everyone in the park paid money to enjoy the park…just because you paid doesn’t entitle you to enjoy it more or in a way that is not conducive to a safe and happy environment.

So, in short…look out for each other. We’re all trying to have a great time and relax.